These pointers are general ones that a lot of you have probably seen before.  I do not necessarily agree 100% with all of them.  So, if I have a difference of opinion, my comments are written in BOLD type below it.

 1.         The basics apply first.  Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can (especially at night), if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it but go with your instincts.  You may feel a little silly at the time, but you’ll feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

2.         Always take the elevator instead of the stairs.  Stairways are horrible places to be alone and a perfect crime spot.

3.         As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped or killed.  Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.  He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

4.         If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: about the weather or whatever.  Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line-up, you lose appeal as a target.

I agree that making eye contact and small conversation is good…not only so that you can identify them but also making eye contact along with your head up, shoulders back and good straight posture along with the ability to make small talk shows confidence in yourself.  It shows that you are aware of your surroundings and makes you seem stronger and less fearful.  

5.         If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay Back!  A researcher said that most of the rapists that he talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back.  Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
It’s also good to carry a loud, shrill whistle with you (some have a button that you push making it easier to use).  The loud noise will distract them more and also attract attention from others in the surrounding area.

 6.         If you carry pepper spray yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
OK…this one I totally disagree with.  I absolutely agree with carrying and using the pepper spray however, why warn someone?  I would do the yelling and/or whistle blowing as described in #2 and if the person ignored it and kept advancing, I’d use the pepper spray on him as soon as he got close enough.  My opinion is if yelling is not going to deter him, then he is determined to attack.  If you tell him you have pepper spray, he’s a criminal…a rapist…he’s going to quickly think how to avoid it and possibly even think of how to disarm you of it.

 7.         If someone grabs you around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh  ----HARD!
Pinching in these areas hard enough can actually brake through the skin and tear out muscle strands and even if it doesn’t, it will hurt him enough so that he’ll let go of you and you’ll have a chance to run.  Try pinching yourself in these places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
I actually love this tactic…but remember…HARD!  REALLY REALLY HARD! You really want to hurt him.

 8.         If you are grabbed from behind by the hair, your first impulse will be to try to pull away.  This will only strengthen his hold and cause you more pain.  Instead, bend your knees and turn your body toward him which will cause him to lose his grip.  From there you can choose from a variety of the self protection moves and tactics that will be in my future blogs and/or you can attend one of our free workshops.  Check our website for dates, times and locations.  www.kisssurvivalservices.com

9.         When you get into your car after shopping, eating, working, etc, the first thing you should do, even before you put on your seat belt or start the engine is LOCK YOUR DOORS!!  Also women have a tendency when entering their cars to just sit (doing a variety of things…checking their phones, checking their make up, etc). DON’T DO THIS!! If a predator is watching you, he will have the perfect opportunity to get in on the passenger side or back seat, put a gun to your head or a knife to your throat and tell you where to go.  As soon as you get into the car, lock the doors, put on your seatbelt, turn the car on and LEAVE!  A future blog will deal solely with car/vehicle safety.

10.        If a predator has a gun and if at any point, you are not under his control.  ALWAYS RUN!  The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.  And even then, it most likely will not be a vital organ.  RUN!
This is probably a scary thought to some of you.  You might think that maybe you’ll be able to talk him out of hurting you.  You might be scared that you will get shot if you run…you might….but seriously, the statistics how that you have a much higher chance of survival (even if you get shot) if you run (zig zag pattern if possible) then if you stand there and make an easy target for him.

 in my next blog, I’ll be giving some self defense tactics in case you are  attacked.

Have a wonderful day and don’t forget to KISS…Keep It Safe & Survive!

Avoidance is the first step in self protection and learning what to avoid becomes very important.  To help in learning how to avoid being a victim, we can learn from those that have studied the criminal mind set…in this instance, the mindset of rapists who are incarcerated.  Using this method, rapists in prison were asked what they look for in a potential victim.  Here are some of their findngs:

1.  They are always looking for an easy target and one of the easiest ways is to find a female who is distracted.  What is the biggest distraction?  Talking and/or texting on your cell phone.  Also searching through your purse (usually looking for keys or cell phone) is another distraction.  These things make it easier to catch you off guard and overpower you. 

Remember, when using our ACT Strategy, the A stands for Awareness.  It’s difficult to be aware of your surroundings when you are distracted.

2.  Hairstyle.  Rapists are more likely to go after a woman with long hair…be it hanging free, in a braid, ponytail or bun.  It makes it easier to grab the victim.

This doesn’t mean that you should go cut your hair short…it just means that if you do have long hair, you should be Aware of this fact.

3.  Another thing the men look for is clothing.  Clothing that is easy to remove makes a woman an easier target.

Again, you should dress in your style and level of comfort…just be Aware of what you are wearing and how it might make you a more likely target of a rapist.

4.  No surprise that the most common place that women are attacked are in parking lots and/or parking garages.  The next common is public restrooms.

We all have to walk through parking lots and/or parking garages or use a public restroom from time to time (although I know a lot of ladies who try to avoid doing so).  The key once again?....Awareness.

5.  Carrying an object, such as an umbrella, that can be used at a distance as a weapon is a deterrent.  Of course, most of us are not going to carry an umbrella every day just to use as a weapon.  However, years ago (when I was in my 20’s) I had a friend who rode the bus to work and she ALWAYS carried one…both because she never knew when the weather might change and also for a weapon and she truly believed that it made her feel like likely to be targeted. She didn’t care if people thought she looked foolish carrying an umbrella on a sunny day in South FL.  It was her weapon and she carried it.   Remember, the rapist wants an “easy” target. If he thinks that you are going to put up any kind of a fight, he’ll just target an easier victim.

In our next blog, we will discuss what to do if you feel that you are being targeted as victim.

Have a great day and remember to KISS (Keep It Safe & Survive).